Tuesday, January 25, 2011

And we shall live...as long as we live in others

I

For Patrick & Nancy, looking at their child, their only one, normally brought joy. But never in this world had they thought that they would see their beloved Rodney like that. Fighting for his life. Surrounded by intruders, entering unwanted in his body, to prolong his life or to prolong his suffering. His chest was slowly rising up and down and Rodney was in another world. A dreamland. Far from the controlling eyes of his parents. Far from the prying eyes of his jealous girlfriend (but he still loved her). He was now even farther, from his own heart beat. His heart beat left him alone now.

Outside his body, outside the temple that had been the refuge to his organs, tissues - outside his young 24 year old brain, there was a different world. The situation was different. In the immediate walls where his body lay, you could hear an ongoing beeping sound. It was not a break alarm or that a fire drill was taking place. This meant that someone in this room stopped living. His heart stopped.

He saw his own body as if it tried to lift itself up. He wanted to be released. He was like roaming around, lighter than usual. But then it hit him. This might as well be the after life experience, that a body experiences, he thought. This might be what I have been reading about all this time!! Now it's happening to me!!

He called out his parents' names. Nothing.

He wanted to cry. Nothing.

He just wanted to live again. Nothing.

II

The scenery in Czech Republic was immensely beautiful. He was driving back to Prague from Telč, a town in southern Moravia, near Jihlava. The town was founded in 13th century as a royal water fort on the crossroads of the busy merchant routes between Bohemia, Moravia and Austria.

He was there with his friends but a sudden call from his colleagues required him to cut short his long planned cross country skiing holiday. He had to leave. He had his last cigarette with his friends in the main square in Telč, with the famous 16th century houses, shadowed by the column of the Virgin and the fountain in the centre of the square date from the 18th century. He had his cigarette in his mouth and was looking sideways towards his friends, listening. He was always praised in being a good listener. He now looked like James Dean's Jett Rink in Stevens' 1955 masterpiece, Giant. He gave the impression that he was full of himself. But he was not. His mind was elsewhere. He was thinking of Julie. His beloved princess, Julie.

He inhaled the last breath from the cigarette and exhaled the white smoke that scattered itself, like a million times before. White, pure white smoke. Just like when a new pope is elected in the Vatican. Just like the chimney - the smoke from the chimney, from Michelangelo's 16th century Sistine chapel. Rising up to the blessed Roman sky to yell that a new shepherd was elected. A new leader was born.

He waved his fellows goodbye and walked the 100 remaining meters towards his new car. A white Volkswagen Polo. A masterpiece of technology at a relevant price. An upper class car for the middle class...or those aiming higher. Just like he did. His job demanded total dedication and discipline. He was a lawyer.

III

Defibrillation is the definitive treatment for the life-threatening cardiac arrhythmias, ventricular fibrillation and pulse less ventricular tachycardia. Defibrillation consists of delivering a therapeutic dose of electrical energy to the affected heart with a device called a defibrillator. This depolarizes a critical mass of the heart muscle, terminates the arrhythmia, and allows normal sinus rhythm to be re-established by the body's natural pacemaker, in the Sino trial node of the heart. Defibrillators can be external, transvenous, or implanted, depending on the type of device used or needed. Some external units, known as automated external defibrillators (AEDs), automate the diagnosis of treatable rhythms, meaning that lay responders or bystanders are able to use them successfully with little, or in some cases no training at all.

After the panic that followed when Rodney slipped away, there was a sudden activity to try to revive the young kid. The sound of the cardiac monitoring equipment was penetrating. A continuous ongoing struggle between the doctors and the machine. The sound wanted to keep on buzzing. It liked to show its powers. Especially during these so called triumphant moments. The oscillated energy that it transmitted was strong. This time it was stronger than that of the qualified people surrounding the dying body of Rodney. Their efforts were futile. His body was still there. But his soul was light years away, waiting to be called for its judgement by the Creator. He was 24 years old. Just like James Dean was when he died in that horrific traffic accident in the early fall of 1955. They shared a lot of similarities.

IV

All these paths swerving like snakes or a million reptiles on top of each other from Telč led to Humpolec. Humpolec was another nice medieval town in the Vysočina Region.

It was predestined. While driving, he noticed everything, as if he knew that this was to be his final journey. He admired all the flowers that were dangling and dancing with their invisible partner - the wind. He saw the details of the trees as they celebrated and yelled Hallelujah towards their Creator. Their hands clapping with each other, brushing and then bending back to their position in this repetitive journey. He saw meadows enriched with sunflowers that reminded him of a Van Gogh painting. He saw the roads that were shining in this hot summer day in mid-July. He was at ease. But once again like in Telč, he found himself thinking of her. He had to hear her voice.
He called Julie. She was not answering. I want to surprise her, he thought. I want to go to her first.

In the midst of all these thoughts - of how he would surprise her - the bunch of flowers that he will buy and million other thoughts, he was oblivious of what was to become. I love you, he wrote on his iphone, I think of you, even when thoughts are light, when there is the night, when you are out of my sight - I simply love you. He pressed send. It was his final movement. The last time he would press send. The last time that his thumb pressed that blue button on the right hand side of the phone.

The dog just hit the road, just as Rodney was listening to the declining tunes, the last verses of "Hit the road Jack". Rodney had no time to comprehend what happened but he swerved several times. The new car rolled over then and slid several meters until it hit the oncoming vehicle. Rodney was severely injured. His head now resting on the driver's window panel. The other car's driver and passengers survived unhurt. The love that couldn't wait a couple more hours was not meant to flourish anymore. Just because the mobile phone was erroneously used.

V

Robert Thornton loved jogging. He was keeping up his family's tradition to jog early in the morning, just like his dad, his grand dad before that and many others in the family. They jogged thousands of kilometres.

Robert has been living in the Czech Republic for the past 30 years. He had been retired for the last three. He loved the scenery in Prague. He loved jogging all the way from central Prague to Velka Amerika, a man made quarry some 34 km away, every day. Then he would come back with a friend of his that used to patrol the area, working as a ranger, at the end of his shift. It used to take him some 3 hours usually. Nanette was his wife. She always waited for Robert to come back near the window of their house the one that overlooked Charles's bridge - a memento of the Czech history. Today somehow she felt something bad happened. She stood up from the chair where she was finishing the embroidery and looked out. At that time she saw Vaclav, the Ranger passing through their street with his Land Rover.

He suffered from renal failure. That was another tradition of his that he inherited from his family!! He suffered from chronic kidney disease. His wife knew about it and therefore she immediately went along his track to see if anything happened to him. That is what she perceived and that is what really happened. Robert was lying on the path purposely planned for the joggers. Lifeless.

The Emergency team managed to revive him just on time. He was afterwards taken to hospital. A few metres away, Patrick & Nancy decided that they would give the doctors the go ahead to remove the organs from their beloved son. The organs that could be used of benefit for others.

VI

Robert's waiting was not as long as the doctors told him. Robert was the first to benefit from the decision that Patrick & Nancy took for their son. They wanted him to live in others. And Rodney was now living in Robert. Rodney was now running with Robert. And when Nanette started waiting again for her husband to be back from the now shortened jogging trail, Robert was not alone. Nanette was now waiting and welcoming home two men...Robert & Rodney.

Rodney is one of the many people living in others. One of the many that gave others a new start. A new life.


We might vanish physically from this world, but we can live in others. In the memory of those who loved us and will never forget us. We might live in a heart beat - in a kidney - basically in every tissue that can be removed from us to give a fresh breath - a new life to others!!! My message today is clear - Donate blood. Enrol as donors - give life to others - LIVE IN IMMORTALITY...IN feelings, IN thoughts - THRU memories!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Falling in love – fulfilling your mission.

(The following blog is an extract that is taken from the introduction of the book, Heart of Gold/Qalb tad-Deheb that will be out in the main shops in Malta & Gozo in the first week of February).

Dear Beloved people around the world,

There is nothing better than falling in love with imagination and being able to transpire it and express it in words, words that often rhyme, but not only - words that are so powerful that when said rightly, can do a lot of good. Then again when wrongly said they can do a lot of damage.

Two thousand years ago, there was one kid, that became a man, went on to defy love and the definition and meaning of it, to such extent that he himself that was love gave his life for it.
Sometimes, two thousand years later and with light years advancements in technologies we tend to forget that the message, his message, he himself that was the message – was clear “Love yourselves as you want others to love you”.

Through the means of all the scientific improvement and our aim to be like God, act like God, understand God and get closer to him, we are finding ourselves in a path that is leading to disaster, because our selfishness, mine included, knows no boundaries – in the sense that what we are doing is striving not to be close to love – close to God but doing things that will move us away from him, away from all that is his. Nowadays what were before our values, now are simply rare to find and to enjoy. All this cause the hunger that we have for money, power and glory is moving us away from all that is important – we tend to forget that ours is a temporary stay, in here, that time was lend to us, so that afterwards we can answer to how we used it.

Sometimes is not easy to do good, because the bad is nicer, sexier and more attractive to our eyes. Why? Because that is exactly the aim of all that is bad, to move us away and will lead us to temptation by finding our weaknesses, by finding what you are soft for and play around like a dice with us.
That is why throughout the years, I asked to be given the virtue of wisdom cause that and that alone can help me understand not were I will succeed, but were I failed, not whom I love but whom I hate, not were my destination is but where I started from because we are all humans, we fall for material things, and the entity we believe in called LOVE knew that long before and that is why there is FORGIVENESS, but we must remember that HIS is far bigger than ours, than our eye sight can ever give us. That is why everything was done in him, with him, through him, so that we one day, can call heaven our home, cause that is our citizenship.

No matter if you believe or not this is not a matter of religion, it’s a matter of love – of loving one another and of being responsible for our deeds and be ready to pay the repercussions when the time. We all have a mission – we just have to find the right path, the right direction that will not only lead us to understand what is that we have to do, but how to fulfil this mission, for our advantage and the benefit of others. What we need is courage – prayer and a will to start, a conviction to finish and a believe to succeed.

I had the chance to speak about me today, about my targets, my achievements, the way I write, how I am able to say what I feel in such a magnificent way, but I opted not to, I opted to give this space to GOD, I opted to choose this so that I start what I want others to finish. You have to be the change you want others to have, others to do.

I opted to give a message through my poems of love in the form of a woman, in the form of temptation and I want that this message will not fall on deaf ears just for the simple reason that I am another human being that God chose to bridge himself with and reach, all those who are far away from him.

I want to start the change, I started with these words, simple words made of love, now it’s up to you to help me achieve that. One man cannot change the world but one man can start the change.

Friday, January 14, 2011

My beloved Maltese Islands...the rock I can call my home

Malta


My beloved country....yes I am in love with my country....why???? It has not been heard...never in this world that a tiny spot on the map (smaller than a dot you do with your pencil!!) has so much to offer, so much to give....an amazing chapter in the history of the world....Yes Ladies & Gentlemen...Malta even though small in size...has left an impact in the history of mankind that is not properly appreciated.

Malta was conquered by many rulers and they all left an impact on this island and its people!!

In 1565, the very famous infamous Great Siege of Malta occurred. The rulers at the time were the Knights of St. John...In all 600!! Together with the 8,000 Maltese they fought against the Ottoman Turks (with a total force of an approximate 48,000 soldiers), for three hot summer months and even though outnumbered...my ancestors managed to win. They weren't experienced other than in working from dusk till dawn in fields!!!
The main area where this event took place is nowadays the capital, Valletta, together with the Three Cities - Birgu, Bormla & Isla. Relentlessy the two forces battled for victory. The whole Roman Catholic church was at stake. The rest is history, but it still echoes vibrations, that shake the minds of historians, the brains of scholars and the strategic plans of statesmen.

The second siege

In April 1942, during World War II, Malta was the most bombed place on earth with over 6,000 tonns of bombs being dropped on the island, that April alone!! You might be asking me - Why are you telling us all this? I am telling you this for simple reasons. These are the following;

* You should be proud of who you are and your country!!

* You should have courage to fight and keep on fighting...whatever the battle might be...even when we lose hope...there is a bigger entity and its there...no matter what you might believe in...that will help us make it through.

.* Be prepared, your lifestyle how it has been up till now might change promptly and you might need to adjust yourself to these changes.

* No matter how small you are, YOU TOO might change or begin to do so. Look at my island....its name is written down in history, even on the BIBLE!!!

...that is, if there aren't that few that are ready to change what needs to be changed...the few will never become the many!!!

Love & friendship


If we take these words into consideration, we realise that the world rotates around them and they will pass by, in everyone's life, at one time or another. But while some people will vanish in thin air, others will leave an imprint to last a life time and whenever you feel lonely, these things/ moments will come flashing back!! It is very important that one realises the need to live the moment,


And that is why I say....live today as it will never come again!!!


There might be another Friday but there will NEVER EVER be another Friday the 14th of January 2011!! So what I am doing now, I have to make sure that it makes sense. I need to find that hrough whatever I am doing, I will be helping others and that it has to be a prelude of how we want to sculpture our life!!


Richness


What is this??? Pure richness I say, lies in the heart of those who are ready to sacrifice a part of their life in order, to improve the world we live in, the same world we ruined!! Some people tend to dedicate their life, leaving their families and go to an unknown country to help others build a home, a lifestyle, a country.


We tend to envy others who have everything. Money, property, power, glory, fame, cars,women (or men). Basically anything they wish, they can have...but then again, are they real??? Do they know how to spend their money???? Do they have their happiness???? Do they use all this for the benefit of others???? Can they buy DEATH???


We might look at them and say damn they are rich!!! But people, I tell you then, what are the kids of Africa (or anywhere else) going to say when they will look at us? Our life is luxurious compared to their miserable life. They have to eat left overs. One can just imagine that with €30 you can give food for a kid that will last a whole year!!! All this when we buy a piece of chocolate, coffee, burger or anything else thats costs for eg for €1.....so there we go if I have 30 of, throughout the whole year, we are done. I just had what a kid has in a year, if he is lucky enough!!!


Mind me, this and other related issues, are the deeds and actions that we have to account for,considering the fact that together with the chocolate and that related stuff , I chill out with friends every week , eat in a restaurant once a month, and have lunch and dinner every single day!!


So come on people, when you are in a point of looking at who is richer than you, you also have to all these millions that have nothing to eat or to drink and nowhere to live!!


I assure you that if you really have a HEART, you will realise that it is a matter of combined love that will solve this problem. In various level though and countless of.


Obama


Two years ago, I watched the inauguration of the new President of the USA. I was happy that the Americans elected someone who wanted and was going (that is what he said) to do a change.....ok fair enough President...Good luck...I really like how the guy is tackling some issues but then after his inauguration on an Italian website I read that for the 10 inauguration balls he attented, more than USD 40 million were spent to organise!!! How can that be possible??? If you need to be transparent....if you need to bring change...you have to lead by example!!! You can't tell people what to do and as soon as you reach the corner you will do the total opposite...that's hypocresy!!

Holy War

We managed to hear, listen and read about holy wars in the name of God or the prophet or whoever. I say that the holiest war of all dwells within you. Finding the real you, being the real you, adjusting so that other people can see, feel and live with the real you.

The you that lies within you might be a you, that was a result of an occurance in life. The last thing is a big thank you to all of my friends that are ready to fight when they are called...it might not necessarily be a fight for a country!! No No....it might be a fight within the real YOU to come out and make sure that as from today...you help out making that little change when necessary!!Thanks for all that you do and say, as long as it is in the name of good for mankind!!

Take care of you for me all of you out there....you are too precious:)))))


Jack
14.1.11

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Renewal of Nero - Love of the Hero

I

It was July the 6th. A Wednesday. On the bed in a hospital, all the eyes were feasted on him. On this 73 year old man lying there. His thinning grey hair was combed in a certain way, that could do nothing but to attract attention. His hair slightly waved to his right shoulder. On the left side of his head a canal from his forehead to the back...the canal of wisdom that now divided his hair, ever so neatly in two parts. He tried to focus on the faces, ladders of life; ages combined...he looked at them, all, one by one. He wanted to force himself to be able to do this. I was there too.

All the lives combined, he thought, are the fruit of love, my love towards my woman, my wife.

He knew that his end was coming. He could feel his lungs aching as they rose slowly, like waves on the rocks and as they, ever so silently, hurried back to the sea. But he was happy. He managed to re-unite all his family in front of him, right beside his death bed - one more time - he did it.

His breath was finding difficulties making all the way up the pipe, to meet the outer air that was dancing outside his body. He was losing the senses slowly. Sadness poured around him, filled the room. But he was happy. He was going to realise his dream...

II

"I, Geoff, take you, Angie, to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live".

'I can remember it all" he told me, raising his head slightly to look at me. "53 years, 6 months and 14 days passed since that day" he continued. "And I had the privilege to live with her, for 52 years, 2 months and 6 days".

III

Sergeant Geoff Gluding, was one of the World War II heroes. He was one of the master minds on the D-Day, on the 6th June 1944, in Normandy, France. That, was the decisive final straw that the Allies needed to guarantee the victory. And even though everything went as planned, another 11 months had to pass for the war to be finally over.

After doing some research for the book I was writing, I got his contact details and got in touch with him. It was the Monday, the day after his wife's funeral, I remember. I explained to him, in detail my aims and my projects. He agreed to help me and provide me with the last missing pieces of information. The information that I needed.

"I want you to do me a favour" he said though. "I want you to dedicate the book to my wife & me, if possible". I nodded in agreement as if he could see me. I could hear a long pause, then a sigh, as if the person on the other line had trouble to breath. "Many people" he finally said, "asked me many times, throughout the years to give them all the information I know". There was another pause, this time I could sense that he was disappointed by the past actions. "I am agreeing to do this, in order that I will share the knowledge and leave a legacy through your writings, through the book". At that time he did not tell me that he had just lost his wife. Nor he did tell me that he had the funeral the day before. At the time I did not understand that.

We agreed to meet the following Thursday at his house, in Oblubeny Street, in Aberdeen, Scotland. I was to fly specifically for this purpose and I hurried in booking a last minute flight on Ryanair. The power of technology!! Since I was going to give a presentation and I presently was in Carcassone, I was lucky enough to find a cheap flight to Glasgow. Then, it would be about a four hour drive to Aberdeen. But I wanted this.

IV

It was the second time I met him. But now I was in a different room, I was at the hospital. He was finding it difficult to breath. “And that is all" he said, "I hope that I managed to explain myself in a good way, and hope you have enough material to finish the book now". He inhaled the cool breeze that was entering the portico, from the open windows, silently making its way towards where we were sitting. He looked first at the clock. My eyes followed his movements. It was 9.35pm. My God I thought, I have been here for 11 hours. Of course he paused many times, to catch his breath, sometimes treasure hunting for the mask, in need for oxygen. Then he looked at the calendar. It was Monday the 20th of June.

I thought it was over, but it was not. Then he took another breath and started again. This time I could see his eyes shining with more than just happiness. Then he started speaking about Angie. About how they met when she was biking in Kinross and he hit her by accident, with the car as their paths collided. With that, so did their lives and their destiny.

He described everything and in detail. All the reasons why he loved her so much. I stood there, dumbfounded. I was looking at this man that lost his wife a couple of months ago and he was speaking about her, like a teenager does about his first date. I was ready to close my book. But Geoff opened me another book. A book called life...a book called renewal. A book called beautiful after ugly, happy after sad, sunny after rainy.

"Life is a cycle" he said, “We just need to find the right vibration and make the majestic entrance to the appropriate part of it. The part, in which we are most likely to feel what needs to be felt, to think what needs to be thought and to say what needs to be said".

V

His scars from the war were healed by the love of the woman he loved, till death did them part. Another scar resurfaced. His wife was not with him anymore.

"For me she was like the dancing water pouring from the sky like a blessing" he used to tell me every half an hour or so. As if he needed to remind me of that. As if he needed to remind himself of that. "We used to love the rain. We used to run out to the porch. Just to look at the rain falling down".

He sighed again trying to catch a breath, while he was telling me this and pausing. I wasn't sure thoug,h if it was because he needed air or to reshuffle and spindle his memory again.

"Every time, I used to tell her, Angie, you are the rain, this rain as well as the rain of yesterday and all the other rainy days we had before. Since I have known you".

"Why?" she used to taunt him, while looking into his still nice hazel eyes.

“Because you are the blessing that poured into my life like the rain does, suddenly without premonition".

"So you don't see the weather channel" she used to joke in the last couple of years that they shared together.

“I do, I do" he used to smile.

"And like rain", he ended, satisfied he was sharing all this with me. "Like rain she poured blessings every single day of my life, right till the last day".

"That day" he silently said "she held out my hand, just before her heartbeat gave up, touched my hand, looked in my eyes and told me "Geoff, it's raining". There was a sparkle in her eyes. Fading, but it was there. "You were a blessing too, Geoff, but now like rain, I am going down the drain, in a field". She smiled at him before saying, "Please take care of my plants, and cultivate my love".

I could see that he was happy but sad at the same time. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, slightly, to give him the strength & courage he needed to continue.

"She then squeezed my hands, lifted them up to her mouth, kissed them, looked out of the window, as if to invite me to look together, one last time. When I turned my head again, to look at her, she was gone".

He looked to his hands, as if to relive that long gone moment. Then he slowly lowered his head into his hands. I couldn't see if he was crying or not. It was summer and in this part of Scotland, there is a late sunset. His window was facing west. The sun shone on his hands and face, for a light moment, but it was enough for me, to catch a glimpse of that drop from his right eye, as a multi coloured rainbow formed in it. It descended his face, leaving its cliff, his chin and making its final trip in the abyss. Ending in a splash on the ill fated, yellow coloured, squared, black dotted tiles -that adorned this hall for more than half a century - 3 and a half feet below.

VI

Since I was not a member of his family, I was the last one to enter the mortuary room. I was alone. With him. I looked at his pale face.

"Geoff" I said as I grabbed his praying hands that had the rosary on top of them "You were a blessing, and I will cultivate the meaning of what love is, for as long as I shall live".

He was gone but more than the legacy that he left in thousands of books that I had printed and reprinted, he left a legacy in my heart.

VII

Do we need stories to love, to cry with joy or with pain or fear? Do we need to lose our loved ones to realise this? Physically, mentally or mortally? Why are we losing our values? Why are doubts entering our minds? Why are we letting hatred for others conquer? Why aren't we able to forgive? Why at the first we agree to do one thing then at the first storm we try to abandon the destination.

Mind me, I have sinned. Everyone did. I have failed. Everyone did and where I did, I ask for forgiveness. You shall ask for forgiveness. You have to touch the heart of your enemies by showing them your love. You have to touch your enemies, by showing them you are not alike. You have to touch your enemies, by giving them a hand instead of a weapon, a speech instead of a knife, a hope when there is misery. You have to show them the light at the entrance of the cave, where they are keeping you as a captive. Enemies are not only mortals, but also experiences. Live the Love you give. Give the Love you live!!!

Jack
10.1.11

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Another day with you (Chronicles of a previous boyfriend to his girl)

How much I long for it,

everytime I wake up,

How much I wished I told you everything,

coz now all these words I am missing,

and I long for you the one I adore,

the one that makes me wanting a piece of you, more and more,

how much I flew in heaven everytime you were close,

and I felt the happiness of saints, when my heart you chose,

I felt like a kiddo, starting life again,

knowing nothing but fairytales, away from all the pain,

how much I wish to tell you and whisper in your ear,

for you are the one I want, the one to whom I'm dear,

You the terrific action I need to wake up and do,

you colour of my life, bucket of happiness painted in blue,

how much I wish I can go back in time,

and if I failed I amend,

to show you, you're my everything,

my eternally girlfriend,

coz you were there when needed,

even if sometimes we made eachother upset,

but all the moments including these, how can I possibly forget,

I wish I will hug you and kiss you, like in the picture I stand before,

coz your lips, your touch, your everything makes me want just more,

so please, please, come and tease me, like you once really did,

come play with my curly hair, kiss me never quit,

coz until the day I stop breathing,

loving my princess is what I'll do,

How much I long, wish and dream about it,

if I could only have another day with you.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

I waited for you - Chronicles of God

Centuries ago, I was thinking,
that this day was meant to be,
I was thinking how you'll look like,
wanted an image of you in me.


Even though there are more than you,
you for me are just unique,
and when you will disappear,
it is you that I will seek.


How many times you did betray me,
and you woke up and just did not care,
you didn't appreciate the sun before you,
that's to show you, I'm always there.


Look around you and you will see me,
in little big things, below or above,
that's one more thing to show you,
nothing's bigger than my love.


And today I have waited,
not
for you to enter the church,
but
of me to think a little,
you
didn't and I started to search.


I looked everywhere, that I've created,
on the land, ocean and sea,
but couldn't find what I really created,
couldn't feel you whole with me.

So felt like telling, I've waited for you,
when you cried and mentioned my name,
and you did that not cause you love me,
you said I did not love you and that's a shame.

I waited for you when the sky was grey,
when you had nothing else to say,
and waited for you wherever you've been,
to show the biggest love, you've ever seen.

I waited for you everyday,
I waited for you anyway,
I waited for you and then there was night,
but you were never out of my sight.

I waited for you during the war,
so that of your heart, you open the door,
I waited for you and for your soul fought,
so its love I showed and you I've sought.

So now show me I haven't waited in vain,
open your door, accept me again,
accept my love, my guidance, have faith,
I beg you, I want you, repent before it's late.

Forgiveness is a virtue....

Forgiveness is a virtue....

If one is thinking about forgiving...the other person should think how not to hurt....

If one thinks what is to become....the other one should think how all those around will be effected....

If one thinks life is a game and you might always be a winner....think about the fact that two or more play the game and if you are the winner...there will be losers as well and not everyone will understand that they lost.

Make sure that when you win...if you win...you will do so, with virtue, head up high so no one can point the mistakes you did...

And if you hurt someone, so much...it is unimaginable and can't go back make sure that you will NEVER do it again and find remedy...

It is easy to get hurt but hard to heal....

Easy to fall...but hard to get up....

Easy to destroy but hard to repair....

Make sure that if you have the crown jewels in your hand...you will not let them go for a handful of gold......

Jack 9.1.11

Friday, January 7, 2011

How much I miss you

How much I miss you,

how much I feel the need,

to kiss you,

to breath air,

and square all quarrels,

that ruined our days,

minutes, moments,

for I did not recognise,

you, alone hurt there,

crying,

felt like dying,

coz of this guy,

male,

who promised you,

a fairytale,

how much my heart aches,

seeing you like that,

every word driven by pain,

trusting? Never again,

a heart is not to mend,

nor to leave a scar,

when we feel apart,

and we're just too far,

a heart is not to lose,

or choose,

or break,

take,

the trillion stars,

that shaped us,

shaped our hearts,

How long I must stay,

on my knees,

asking for love,

begging you please,

How much frustration,

anger and struggle,

you feel like betrayed,

every mountain's height, double,

How much, my flower,

that I didn't water for life,

coz everything was priority,

or guided by pride,

How much shall I whisper,

if you just open the door,

let me in and discover,

its you I adore,

How much my embrace is aching,

to hug you again,

show you, you're mine,

till the last beat stops, eternity and back,

till d end of time.

U R

My space u r,

my shining star,

a novel you'll be,

my charactery,

a sky you were,

so, so blue,

while I did hold,

yes I held, held you,

coz painters paint,

close or faint,

landscapes and humans,

a show of the trumans,

musicians work on a soundtrack,

endurable, ever lasting called life,

and I - I dream of my own movie,

that to have you as my wife,

not for you to cook,

but for me to look,

not maybe instead of calling me Jack,

you call me Jake,

but nothing really matters,

as long as its near u that I wake,

U R, E R - Queen Elizabeth,

or any kind of monarchy,

hierarchy or woteva',

as long as U R always with me,

in thoughts that are diverse,

in their classification,

in a battle of two countries,

or da league of more than a nation,

U R my house music,

RUN DMC and rap,

U R d little mouse,

caught inside my trap,

U R my little miss sunshine,

for your rays overtake me,

U R my most legal drug,

equivalent to pure ecstasy,

U R the road I'm looking at,

the road towards which i want to drive,

will only, only be happy,

the day we hug, when I'll arrive...

so, so baby I'm tellin ya,

that the clock can cease to tick,

but you never ceased existing,

URE all the pages, I want to flick.

Oh Sunset

I walked, travelled and ran,

To see you sunset everytime,

As I for the millionth time squeezed you in my hand,

And for that second you were mine,

I love you sunset for every time,

You show me that in the end,

There is always a brand new start,

For the ones who love eachother,

The ones that are apart,

Sunset, I imagine your redness on my face,

As the wind caresses my skin,

As the ocean plays with you,

And you give your life deep within.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Christ in a cave, the Pope in the Vatican and the Saints in heaven!!!

I

Words can be said, continously. Some lies will be repeated so often, that then they seem like they are the truth, the only truth. But that is not the case.

Nearly a century ago, there lived a person, who went on to become known in history. Not for the good he did. Not for the love he shared. But for his words. For his lies. For his hatred. For he would be the person, directly or indirectly responsible for the extermination of 3 generations. He would be responsible for the genocide of half the jews living at the time. He would be responsible for the murder of 1/10 of the world's population today. Now, can you imagine how one man, through his words did that? Now, can you understand why I said last time that with one word, one deed, you can change the course of history?

What he did was lying to his own people. It was his breakfast, his lunch and dinner. But it was common. It was so visible, so usual. It was only what the people saw. They were persuaded to have, to take with him, their breakfast, lunch and dinner, just as him. Just HIS. His lies then, were tempered in their brains, occupied their minds, fed their bodies. His lies became the truth. The only truth. To the detriment of millions!!!

He was Adolf Hitler.

II

A club member usually has a statute to follow, rules to abide with, orders to obey. Fair enough. If you ought to be an ideal member you have to follow the club's rules. Usually these rules are decided by the few and yet have to be followed by many.

As a person, I like to be very straight forward as I think that people should know where they stand. People but, normally tend to forget that the rules are there to be followed and leaders are there to lead. But what if the members will follow the rules and leaders won't lead by example?

I believe in God. I believe that there is a bigger entity made of love. I believe that there is a much bigger power than us all. I believe that whatever this entity is, it's a multi coloured, multi lingual, multi religious. An entity that prefers to LOVE more than to HATE, that prefers to TRUST more than to LIE, that prefers to FORGET and not only to FORGIVE.

III

His sceptre was the cross. During his inauguration - against the protocol - he went down the stairs, towards the flock he was now responsible of, looked around and lifted his sceptre. The cross. The symbol of tyranny, hatred and punishment, thousands of years ago. This time though, the cross was a symbol of victory. The nailed hands, symbolised the hands that wanted to welcome everyone that wanted to return back, right where the journey started from.

The crucifixion was an ancient method of painful execution of a prisoner, during which he was tied or nailed to a large wooden cross and left hanging until he died. The term comes from the latin word crucifixio meaning fixed to a cross, from the prefix cruci deriving from crux (cross), and the verb figere which means fix or bind fast.

The ancient Romans are believed to have been the principiants of this cruel method, of killing the condemned. A method that started round about the 6th century BCE.

So here he was in the most popular square in the world, right where this terryfing method started, showing the cross as a sign of victory. Right at the place, where the first pope was himself crucified, upside down. The square that was now named after the first pope. Right at St.Peter's in Rome. It was October 1978. The person lifting this sceptre was Karol Wojtyla - Pope John Paul II.

IV

Like I said in chapter II, you have to lead by example, but that is not always the case. The church I believe in condemned, harshily the World War II atrocities, but forgetting that 400 years before, it was the same church that terrified everyone, through the atrocities of the inquisition. It took over 400 years for a leader of this church to ask for forgiveness. This leader was Pope John Paul II.

Yet again, in this beloved 21st century, in this new technological era, where we are making huge advancements in science and technology, supposedly for the benefit of mankind, millions are still dying daily. Millions are still hungry. Millions are still struggling to live. Whatever their religion is, colour is, beliefs are!!

You have to lead by example!! The Lower class or Middle class people tend to point fingers to the Higher Class. I point fingers to the leaders of this world. Our Maltese national anthem, clearly states, "give wisdom to the people leading the country". But what kind of wisdom??? Wisdom to divide people? Wisdom to show what the other party is doing wrong??? Is that wisdom?? Please wake up & dedicate your joined forces towards the benefit of the country, towards a better future!!!

Let me move towards a global perspective. We just celebrated Christmas. The birth of the Christ, for God's sake!!! He was born in a cave, to show us a message. That everyone is accepted.

So why do our leaders, that are supposed to lead by example invest in war instead of peace? Why do our leaders' security and trips to meet their counter parts, cost millions of euros, when the national security & welfare, is not given its importance? Why do our leaders live in seclusion, fortified places, away from everyone, when they need to be felt and seen that they are leading? Why does the Pope allow himself to live, surrounded by so much richness, when Christ chose a cave?

Mind me, they might be doing good, but it isn't just enough. Their offices are flocked, filled with fraud, power, glory and then during their wonderfully mimed speeches are telling us what to do??? Come on leaders, lift your socks up!!! You were given the responsibility to lead...then please do so!!!

The Vatican museums, the Louvre, The White House, Buckingham palace...the list goes on. They are filled with masterpieces, when the real masterpieces are US. They are filled with paintings that last forever when WE cannot even predict if the children in Africa will still be alive by the time I will finish writing this. They are filled with mementos of tyranny, dicatorship and power when they shall be filled only with LOVE. Whatever your religion is, you do not need a temple, for you are the temple. You do not need wealth for there is nothing that is more priceless than you. You do not need to be shown how to live by your leaders, for some of them are abusing you when you are the life itself.

V

You have your own life...LIVE IT!!!

Christ said, "Where there are two or three people, gathered in my name, there I will be with them". So we just only need to belief, trust, care and LOVE.

So please, Your Holiness Pope Benedict XVI, please Mr. President Obama, please Your Majesty Queen Elisabeth II, please all of you, leaders of the world. Renounce your titles and give the poor people the title to live. Renounce your wealth and give people the chance to be wealthy, just to have their own daily food. Renounce your richness and give the people in need, a building they can call their home, their shelter. Renounce your power and give the power in strength and courage to the disabled persons. For we can walk, they don't. For we can talk, they don't. For we can listen, they don't. FOR WE CAN LIVE, they DON'T.

A good day to you people of the world, remember if you want to be called citizens of heaven, you have to deserve that promotion!!!

Jack
7.1.11






Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Colours of life - Rainbow of Love

I


Yesterday during one of my lessons, I asked a student of mine, "What colour do you normally associate with happiness?". Somehow surprisingly I must say, she answered "I guess that every colour symbolises happiness". I was impressed not only by the tone she was saying this, but also the conviction that found pace between the pitch of her voice and her facial gestures.

Amazed, I leaned back in my chair and crossed my hands over my head and for seconds I thought about the answer. For milliseconds I wasn't in the room.

Moments like this come rarely but I have the tendency to call them, "The student teaches the teacher" moments. Yesterday was such a moment. I eagerly listened to her answer, which was full of conviction, sincerity and truth.

And needless to say because of such a simple statement, such thoughts usually trigger my imagination. I thanked her for sharing that as I then knew what the topic of my next blog would be.

Sometimes we realise, if we stop to listen to our heart beat and think, look around us, we realise that we meet people everyday. Colleagues, friends, family, strangers etc. We find ourselves in a mixture of faces looking at us, smiling at us, making fun of us, laughing at us, giving us that devilish look. People are dying, babies are being born, and young ones are falling in love for the first time...all this transmitting colours - different colours of happiness.

II

He was one of my childhood idols. He still is. According to the church, though, we shouldn't idolise human beings, we should only idolise God. Well & good. I now agree.

But finding myself in front of this painting in Amsterdam...hmmm... it just left me breathless...a genius that suffocated in his own madness, yet gave us the most beautiful yet expensive paintings in the world. A couple of years ago, in the list of the 10 most expensive paintings, he had 3.

I was now looking at one of them. Sunflowers. Yes it was Van Gogh.

The colours that he painted over a century ago are still there, they still transmit positivity and madness. They still make millions of people breathless. They still are being complimented. Their creator died long time ago.

III

Sometimes, we might think that revenge is the only solution to things. Sometimes, we might think that showing how powerful we are is the only way to solve our problems. Sometimes, by dividing ourselves from the rest, gapping religions, ethnicities and culture, we might think that we are the next unknown soldiers, next unknown heroes.

But life is not that easy. And yes I admit, life isn't always made of colours, life isn't always a rainbow. Others won't just let it be so for us.

But the problem lies in the fact, that we look at others and we don't see how we can improve things. We accuse others, but we don't see what we could have done better. We point fingers, continuously and then we just don't like it, when we are criticised.

IV

Yes, today we have to look further than we normally do, more than our eyesight can ever give us. Give your life that divine look. Glance at your life from a different perspective. Let the colours of happiness be transmitted to others. Let happiness be contagious. You don’t need purified blessed water to bless...A smile would do.

Have a life full of rainbows and positive colours, people, but more importantly, give it and share it with others.

Jack
5.1.11