D for Divorce - E for Emotion - L for Love

I

He thought of her like a mermaid. A mermaid that adorned his life. His new life. His transformation. Long gone were the days when he used to love his wife of 15 years, Maria. He was also risking the battle for the custody of his children. His mermaid was his new secretary. A flame, as he used to call her, 13 years his junior. She was, in his mind at least or the way she did project herself in, all that Maria wasn't. He engaged her two months earlier and it did not take him that much to engage her unofficially also in his personal life even though he was married.

My wife will never discover. Sometimes she is so naïve, he thought.

Julie. That was the name of the secretary. The moment she entered his office, she knew she had to have him. She concealed her thoughts when she saw him in that picture that was standing on his large oak desk. This picture was a couple of months old and it showed him with his beautiful wife and their two children, Liam and Berta while on a sailing trip with his yacht in the Mediterranean Sea. For her this was going to be a challenge. A challenge in which she would come out as a winner. She had to have him at all costs

II

That day, when he entered back home after work, his wife was preparing the food. He grabbed her hand and told her "We need to talk". She followed him in the living room. Their living room. The same room where they had made love for the first time. Yes, unbelievably after they got married. But she was like that. She wanted to give her virginity to the man she was going to spend her life with. Her children with. Love forever.

She sat near him and started twirling the fingers of both her hands against each other. He could see that her eyes were trying to look at his but she couldn't. She knew he was up to something and that something was not a thing that she was going to like. At that moment in time, he barely knew what he was going to say and how he was going to say it. He could see the pain and sadness in her eyes and that was making his task even more difficult.

"You will soon be receiving the divorce files", he said convinced that this was going to be the prelude of a new life that was awaiting him. Julie managed to drive him crazy. She convinced him that she was much better than his wife. He shot the words like a boomerang for they were going to return back, one day. That day was not yet there. He said the words the calmest possible way that he could ever think of. She looked at him for a split of a second. He tried to read her mind. He couldn't. He tried to see her emotions. He didn't.

She just couldn't believe deep inside but decided not to show him. Instead she moved her tongue. She connected it with her brain. A barrage of messages went on between the two. The thoughts filled her eyes and went down to her tongue and she finally managed to whisper and ask "Why?”

He didn't know what to do or what to say. But then, all of a sudden, she went to the kitchen and she threw the spoon towards the fridge. In doing so she hit the magnet that they bought from their last trip to Florida, the previous summer. "You are not a man" she said “You are not loyal" She was broken hearted. That night, the sky was blue adorned with stars. Everywhere was quite including their house. They did not talk that night. She spent it crying.

Greg knew that his wife Maria wanted answers. She wanted to know what had happened to their married life. But he had no appropriate answer.

III

It was incredible how life did change. He just wanted to go out. Leave this home that was his refuge for fifteen years. Now not anymore. His refuge was Julie's flat and his money. The money that he decided to share with her. He did not love his wife anymore. Those days were now gone because a woman - a devil in disguise - managed to turn his life upside down and take him away from his fortress, the temple of his love. His wife and his 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter.

His wife on the other hand wanted answers. It was her right. She just wanted to know what changed from the days when they met. What happened since they fell in love? She wanted to know what happened to her loving prince charming. She noticed that she became a foreigner to him. A necessity gone. Something old or vintage but still in the blossoming young days.

He felt sorry for this. He felt sorry that he had wasted 15 years from her life. But he knew that he could not go back. He loved Julie now and that was not an infatuation. He was seeing Maria crying nearly everyday. But in seeing her crying he consolidated the must to divorce her even more.

One day, after he arrived from work, he saw her writing something in the kitchen. Without a word, he went straight up to the bed. He was exhausted. Not because of the working day but because of the emotional and erotic aftermath with Julie, his secretary.

In the meantime he had decided to leave her the house, the car, a 40% share of his own company. He had given her the sheets which without looking she tore apart so vindictively.

At one time during the night he woke up and went to pick up something from the fridge but when he saw that she was still there, he turned back and went to sleep again.

She was writing. She wanted Greg to tell her a month before leaving so that she can prepare herself. She wanted him to help into presenting the best for their children. She wanted everything to be as normal as possible. She did not want to change anything. Then she will take care of what was to come. Like she always did.He agreed on nearly all the conditions that she imposed.Liam was going to have his pre-grades and they did not want him to be effected with their or his decision.

But she added up yet another decision.

A strange one indeed but one that he agreed on as well.

IV

“Do you remember that on the first day as a married couple, you lifted me up and took me to our bedroom?” she asked him.

“Yes, I do”, he answered – not knowing what to expect next.

“I want you to lift me everyday – for the last month from our bedroom to the front door”.

He agreed.

He thought that she must have really lost her mind. But he agreed. Also in order to avoid any other problem that might crop up both financially and emotionally between them in these last 4 weeks.

4 weeks and I will be out.

When he told his secretary/lover about this, she laughed so much.
“She is trying to make everything to win you back”, she told him with a tone filled with hatred. “But the divorce decision is taken is it?” she continued.

V

From the day that he told her that he wanted the divorce, Maria &Greg never made love. Love didn’t live there anymore.

“Look at Dad, he is lifting up mum Liam” yelled Berta with all her innocence, the very first time that Greg lifted Maria. Her words pierced Greg’s heart wholeheartedly.

From the bedroom Greg walked with Maria on his arms till the front door. Some ten metres in all. She closed her eyes and whispered in his ears, “Make sure that the children know nothing about the divorce”.

He acknowledged with a nod and then, somehow a bit surprised put his wife down on the tiles that they specifically chose a decade and a half before.

His wife then, took the tram to go to work. His Ford sedan engine roared more than usual that morning. They both left their house. Alone. Both lost in their thoughts.

The second time was a little bit easier. They both knew what to expect. She leaned her head on his chest as he lifted her up and he could smell the Calvin Klein’s Woman perfume that she always used to wear. His favourite. Not that it mattered anymore now. But it was enough to make him realise that it had been sometime that he did not give this kind of attention to his wife. He could see that she looked older now. Wrinkles mapped the sides of her beautiful blue eyes. She had some grey hair as well along with the dyed ones. But they got lost together and it took this kind of close attention for him to really notice them.

It has been sometime indeed, he thought. This woman gave me fifteen years from her life. Just me. Me and then the kids. But nothing was more important to her than us.

The days were rolling and the request soon became a tradition. Greg could sense, after the first week passed, that the intimacy, the flame between the two was being lit up again. With these simple little things that he thought were long gone.

He didn’t say anything to Julie about all this and the confusion that he was feeling inside. Not yet at least.

As the days were passing by, Greg realised that he was getting accustomed to lifting up Maria. It was kind of easier.

Maybe it was because it was serving as a kind of exercise, he thought. And I am getting stronger day by day.

During one of those days, he found his wife in front of the mirror only in her night gown and a dress in her hand. Other dresses were scattered on the bed.

“I don’t know which one I am going to wear” she told him. “They don’t fit me anymore, they are too big”.

It then hit him. He realised that Maria lost weight and that this was the reason why he could feel her lighter when he was lifting her up in the now established daily routine.

Greg realised that years of unfaithfulness from his part and less and less support were taking the straw on her. Her health was really deteriorating. For the first time, since all this started, since he brought this upon them, he questioned his dignity. His loyalty. He felt disgusted…and sick. But then he also felt a balloon of love bursting inside his heart. He looked at her reflection in the mirror. The same reflection was looking back to him. He folded his hands around her shoulder. For that first time, they both looked into each other’s eyes just like two lovers do on their first date.

Right at that time, from the door that was ajar, both children appeared. “Are you going to lift mum again dad?” Berta asked. Liam looked surprised and was waiting for this now established daily routine. It became part of their life too.

VI

The last day finally arrived. The last day of this routine. The last day. The day of the decisions.

It will be so easy, he thought.

When he lifted her up though, he found himself unbalanced. Just like his life was. He realised he couldn’t make not even one step. He held her more tightly than usual. He found himself wrapped with her. His body with hers. His love with hers.

“I realised that I lost the feeling throughout these years. I have made my share of mistakes yet love has to be grown into two hearts and flourish in one vase. One Love. One life. Only now I am realising what you really mean to me” he whispered. They were both crying now.

He felt so happy. He sped his 4x4 towards work that day. Julie was the first person he called to his office as soon as he entered. She was also his secretary.

He told her that he is going back with his wife. He wants to break up with her. He wants to end these wild nights of sex. He wants real love. He wants the person that loved him for what he was long before he had the money. He did not want to live in a lie anymore. He knew what he wanted now.

The smile that appeared on her face just as she entered his office soon disappeared. She smacked him on the face, started crying and left the office. Money mattered, he thought.

The life he enjoyed with her was disappearing quickly now. A new sunrise shone on his life. His new life. His normal life with his wife and kids. He was back in control of his emotions and his love.

THE END

He was back in control of his emotions and his love. Just like you, reading this, can be. May all the married people or those who found their love and that are having troubles use this as an example!! Cherish the love!! When sin takes over yet there is love always remember that love is always bigger. Love, finally is always the winner.

Jack Vella
15.2.11