Quote of the day from my mental institution 5

Time is a continuous, unresting and never ending lesson between what is right and what is wrong - Jack Vella

Why me?

Why do you keep on asking yourself this question many times a day? Is it something psychological? Is it something that we inherit? Is it really pre-destined?

If it is then, why does God give us the freedom to do what we want? To do how we feel?

Is that really celled freedom? For freedom cannot be given when there is a plan of something that is pre-meditated. Freedom is the liberty of the word, the liberty of the thought and that of the deed. And instead of asking why me, sometimes we even become heroes, those who know all and ask...

Is God keeping his promise?

Then again, who am I to judge Him who cannot be judged?

Who am I to speak about what others might feel?

Who am I to be the one to throw the first stone?

Who am I to take what is not mine?

As well as...

Who are you to tell me what I need to wear?

And what I need to do?

Or how I need to live?

Who gave you the permission to say what you want, even if that is to the detriment of others, just for the sake of being a person that wants to show off? A person that wants to give to others, but expecting everything in return of your nothing.

We are all citizens of Heaven, Ladies & Gentlemen. That is a prize that we have to work hard for. I want to start that with me. And I would like that you start from you before moving to those you. Forgiveness is a hard thing to ask. It's even harder to feel inside. But it leaves an internal peace that nothing can ever give you except the love for/of God. We might live now for moments of pleasure as we are all humans. We might live for moments where we might gamble on an earthly triumph but we forget that far away there is another prize awaiting us. We forget that we have to feel it deep inside. Sometimes we ask ourselves why me? But we don’t look above, and see a young adult that gave His Life for us. We don't see this young adult asking for forgiveness to His father. Not His but ours. Let the first word that was said on the cross 2000 years ago, echo in eternity. Let it not be in vain - for one day you will hear it again along with other statements that you might have overheard again and again throughout your life and never gave the much needed attention to...

Let these echoes echo now and then and when the appropriate time will come, you have to echo positively with the deeds and actions that you did…

I needed clothes and you clothed me...

I was sick and you looked after me...

I was in prison and you came to visit me...

I was thirsty and you gave me what to drink...

I was hungry and you gave me food...

And then you will solemnly reply...

Oh Lord, Oh Lord - Love of Love itself...Quench for the eternal thirst that I have for your heart...here on my knees and with all my humbleness, I proclaim you King of Kings...You my Lord...for I was blind and you gave me Light...

I am no priest Ladies and Gentlemen. I am no saint either. And yes I did my mistakes. But I want to get down on my knees if needed and ask you, each and everyone that I did hurt in the past, for forgiveness. I have sinned against the Lord and I have hurt you, maybe you are reading this!! I ask you that I did not give you my hand when you needed it, I did not support you when you wanted to rest on my shoulder, did not help you when you shouted out for SOS....yes SOS...save our souls. I did hurt, but I was as well...I did sin but let us look beneath. I might never be able to ask for forgiveness directly because the circumstances in life won't allow it. But know, just know that deep inside, I feel peace that I want to share with you, because I know that you will one day feel it too...if you forgive…

Before asking Why me? - Think and Thank the Lord for He has chosen you to carry the cross, instead of Simon of Cyrene. Hence you might not be trained but God will always give you the appropriate equipment so that you can carry the load not with ease but safely to its place and instead of nailing Christ to the cross once more, we will nail Love into our eternal life and write a gospel where somehow we will all be part of, because yes We are all indeed CITIZENS OF HEAVEN.

"Greater love has no one than this that he lay down his life for his friends". (John 15:13)

Today I have found Jesus again. Jesus came knocking on my door. Jesus came to me. And I that maybe did not believe that if I get lost he comes looking for me, because maybe I thought I was no one, was facing Him. Not only I felt His presence, but I also felt an internal peace, if you consider that during this week, we will commemorate His death and resurrection. And all that because of us!!

To me Jesus came in the form of a priest. A foreign one, who visited me from afar. I felt just like the Italians did when John Paul II was elected as pope back in 1978. A foreigner from a land that is far away. He came to lead the flock of people he was entrusted with. Christians and not. To many, Jesus was never so close to the humans as back then during his pontificate. There was never a leader that visited so many countries, in which millions gathered not in his name but in Christ's name. I felt just like that. A tiny piece of wood floating in the immensity of the ocean. An ocean of love. Of someone who seeks nothing but to love with love being immensity.

I looked in two blue shining eyes of a father that was just ordained 3 weeks ago, and here he was doing his first mission. The mission entrusted to him. He came to renew me, to show me God.

In the past 4 weeks God knocked twice on my door. And twice I let him in. Twice I spoke with him. For two times I had him a couple of centimetres away. But maybe I still don't understand his message. Maybe I still don't understand what he wants from me. Maybe I am still an explorer discovering Him. He first saved my mum’s life and today came to me. He was Fr.Giles.

God spoke.

God loved.

God always does.

Sometimes when we least expect to. Sometimes the normal routine for us becomes the unnatural moment in which God Himself becomes an explorer, looking for us. Once again God becomes a shepherd seeking his lost sheep.

And now ask yourself…Do I want to listen? Do I want to forgive? Do I want to forget what bad people might have done to me? Through his son's arms, he is opening His to tell us, that once again after 2000 years, he still waits, still needs to be listened to. He still breaths in each and every one of us. He might give us different tasks. Tasks that are normally difficult but are always achievable because he is always there. In us. He gave us though, the same air, so that we breathe in one, cause we are finally one. One with Him. Or that is how He wants us to be!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16)

So during this week, ask yourself before expecting an answer. Do not pretend not to hear when you are summoned. Believe, for if you won't you will one day be called and need to answer to all the whys asked. Repent for what you did and ask for forgiveness. Do not look to the outside of a person. See internally. What people do have to offer sometimes might not be visible to the naked eye. Some people are prisoners of their own body, and with us pointing fingers, their life will be more difficult and unbearable. Do not be the ones to be mentioned for the wrong deeds. Do not seek immortality and you will get it. For the ones that have the biggest slams are the ones that aim high without preparation. People that might think they are the ones that the world cannot stand without. Cannot move without. That the world cannot rotate within the orbit, if they cease to exist. And sometimes the Them becomes We and the we are Me and You.

We all want to point fingers to others, but we are never able to point them to ourselves. We want to find that one tiny hair in the pastry, like we say in Maltese, in what others say, what others do. Sometimes we even pretend that we are given the power to infiltrate their thoughts, command their feelings. Looking at the mirror sometimes is not enough!!

We need to see the internal US!! We need to feel where we are wrong but that, again, is not enough. We need not to use weeks like the current week or Christmas week or the New Year’s. Usually we use this excuse to feel empathy and switch to the kind hearted mode and then as soon as the next sun will rise, as soon as the people we were playing the cool with - are gone, we forget all the promises we made, all the steps we took and all the actions we did.

Yes, sometimes, the death of the Christ is just another excuse for us.

So I tell you, let this year be different. Do not limit yourself to any resolution in mid year. Un-limit yourself to the love of God.

Daily we can see that the long lists of people getting longer. Lists that fill up our minds, nowadays. Youngsters dying because of overdoses or drug abuse, families being destroyed, people diagnosed with cancer or any other terminal illnesses, disabled persons and old people not being taken care of, sometimes even left alone, others having accidents that happen because of negligence, wars, earthquakes, killings, hatred and so on so forth.

We are letting a piece of the tail of the devil ruining our lives and taking away the happiness that took years for us to build.

Do not let it be so. Be winners of the best victory you can ever triumph in. This year start and don't stop. Lift yourself up and walk. Take the hand of someone and fly. Love and live. Begin today what will one day be eternal - what you will live for, die with and resurrect by.

Give love and never stop. Redeem and forgive. Forget and start afresh. Where it seems to be impossible, use but do not abuse the love of God. Look at Christ's hands on the cross. At his head filled with thorns leaned to right. Christ that died for us. But then resurrected so that we can live in peace and into eternity. And to love, the same way he loved us...so much that his hands lay across and nailed to a rotten piece of wood to show us that.

Just because....

"Greater love has no one than this that he lay down his life for his friends". (John 15:13)

From around the world - The death of Peacemaker Vittorio Arrigoni

Shocked. That is how I felt early this morning, when like usual I have checked www.corriere.it, the italian online newspaper that I reckon is one of the best in the world.

Like many that knew Vittorio, I think that what he was doing was unique in the sense that he was alone fighting and struggling there, where daily the danger was being felt, was being lived. I feel that Vittorio is like the Jesus of our times. A tatooed Jesus though!! He didn't do miracles or seek fame. He fought for values and ideals. He was truly the one who led by example and helping our brothers that need so much support daily.

May that, what he did will echo in the ears of those who killed him. His yells for peace through his agony, will inflict more agony in the heart of hundreds that were helped and supported by Vittorio. His agony during his last minutes in this valley of sorrow witnessed a greater entity as he died for the cause, he so much believed in. He like Jesus died for LOVE.

RIP Vittorio - May those who killed you will reunite with you when they will be forgiven for the biggest mistake they've ever did.

Jack Vella
16.iv.xi

Quote of the day from my mental institution 4

Money might be countable but LOVE has a definition of being an uncountable noun. You can never measure LOVE but you know that it can always increase - Jack Vella

Quote of the day from my mental institution 3

Sometimes saying sorry is just not enough, sometimes being honest might put you in trouble and sometimes not being sincere might open a road to the abyss you might never be able to return from - Jack Vella

Quote of the day from my mental institution 2

Relationships break up mostly because of the hug not given, the words not said and the love not shared!